James Strong pleads for a little more gig-going respect
I hate crowd-surfers more than music editors hate having their witty headlines cut. You know who you are, you know who I mean: the people who get lifted up at gigs, then lobbed forward by the enraged crowd, like the comatose zombies that they are, to the front where hopefully a butch Hell's Angel security guard will smack them down from a great height. I know it looks cool on TV and I'm sure it's fun and all that, but it's also utterly stupid. Stop kicking me in the head! Seriously!
Idiot crowd-surfers ruined Reading last year, and nobody messes with my Metallica, especially if they're doing it by smashing my head in with their steel toe-capped boots! But it's not just me that I'm worried about. Mostly, but not entirely.
You see, I'm fairly strong and, after a few brutal metal gigs at the Meanfiddler in London, not to mention the standard über-violent school rock shows at the local
girl's school (the latter being the worst), my thick skull is pretty much immune to anything but an anvil.
But not everyone at a gig is like that. If you decide that it'd be really cool to crowd-surf and you kick some mini-mosher girl in the head, she's not going to simply retaliate by ripping every one of the thirteen piercings from your ape-like skull. No, she's more likely to go into a coma and turn into the vegetable that you are... Just keep those boots out of my face, comprende?